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7 Signs You Must Buy a Boat

How do you know which one is the one? We think sign No. 5 is particularly telling.

July 31, 2014
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We’ll take one of each, please. Courtesy Show Management

Boat show season is just a couple of months away, and we’ll all be stretching our self-restraint muscles on the docks. If you’re anything like our editors here at Yachting, you want to buy, oh, at least a half-dozen new models at every show to create the perfect personal fleet.

We’ve found that paying attention to the following seven signs helps to keep the blood pressure in check, and the wallet intact, until you really have found the boat:

1. You start comparing all other boats to her. It’s okay to admire the also-rans, but usually that just proves which boat owns your whole heart.

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2. You gasp. Out loud. With_ the_ one, this will happen repeatedly, to the point that strangers may ask if you’re having an asthma attack.

3. ** ** You can’t stop touching her. If you hear yourself saying something like, “The texture of these teak handrails is just absolute perfection,” it’s a sign that you’re going over the edge.

4. Her smell lingers on your mind. Whether it’s the chlorine from the hot tub or the diesel from the engine room, somehow it all smells like a sweet French fragrance to you.

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5. The helm seat fits you perfectly. Every gauge is at eye level, every control is within easy reach, every inch of your rear-end is cushioned and every dollar you have will soon belong to the builder.

6. You stand, fully clothed, in the master cabin shower. We all know you’re dreaming about the steam feature and the spaciousness. You can’t hide it at this point.

7. Your better half gives you the nod. If your spouse says yes, make the deposit without delay. You’ll never get another chance this good to spend money on the mistress of your dreams.

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